A Really Messed Up Fic
by MikeyGoOrf
Summary: just your average marysueism. dont ask, and dont kill me!
1. Default Chapter

I do not own Digimon and if I did I would not be writing this spazzy story! Oh yeah and me and my artist friend Kim own most of the characters in this story because we invented them. Anyone you recognize belongs to that rich person who invented Digimon.

It was a normal Saturday karate class. Jon, a heavyset boy of 14, with 'dirty blonde' hair was being beaten on by the current instructor. Corey and Eddie were arguing, as usual, about the correct way to do combination 14. Corey was about 15, had thick, wavy black hair and earring.(Eddie is an assistant instructor so it doesn't matter what he looks like.) 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Kim, Christi, Joey, and Jessica were talking about the anti-tootiest campaign. Kim was an average height 13 yr. old, and had glasses and short brown hair. Christi, a short 14 yr. old, also had short brown hair (though not as short as Kim's)and glasses. Joey a tall 13 yr. old had black hair and a goofy grin. And Jessica, a tall 12 yr. old with short black hair was sister to Jon.

A few minutes later a short boy with curly blonde hair walked out of the back dojo. His name was Kyle. He plops down his sparring bag and joins the rest of the anti-tootiests. 

Then Nadia(another assistant instructor, it doesn't matter what she looks like) walks up to the front of the class and tells everyone to line up. Of course, Jon gets in trouble for being to slow and has to do push ups. Nadia takes the class through all of the stretches and warm-ups and then tells everyone to get into two lines. One line consisted of a bunch of people who are not in this fan-fiction and so do not get a description because they are not important. The other line consisted of Kim, Christi, Joey, Jessica, Kyle, Jon and Corey.

The important line was instructed to go into the back dojo with Eddie and Mr. Ford(another unimportant assistant instructor) (no relation to the dealership). The group goes down the hallway to the back dojo and once inside, lines up. Eddie and Mr. Ford tell the kids to hold a horse stance while they go to the front dojo to retrieve some square hand targets. 

"Finally!" said Jon getting out of his horse stance. "I thought they'd never leave!"

"Get back in that horse stance you lazy bum, before I go get Eddie and have him spar you full contact wit no gear!" Said Corey , who loved teasing Jon. Jon whimpered and got back into a horse stance.

"yea but then you'd get in trouble for getting up out of _your _horse stance to tell on Jon, wouldn't you?" pointed out Jessica. 

"Oh you be quiet" spat Corey "and you!" pointing an accusing finger at Christi "Don't. Say. A. Word."

"Who me?" Christi asked innocently " I didn't say anything." Christi was known to have quite a few insults and pranks up her sleeve, and pulled them out when ever she thought she could get someone bigger then her in trouble. 

Kim laughed. "yeah, but knowing you, you were going to!"

"Nnnnooooooo, I wouldn't do something to get Corey mad at me… that would make him attack me… and if he attacks me then he has to do push ups… why ever would I want to say something mean to him?" Christi said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Yeah, sure, just like you didn't mean to humiliate Jon in front of the class when you blocked the bathroom door on him and he flew out." Said Joey, just as sarcastic. 

"I still don't get how he flew out of the _bathroom." _Said Corey.

"Trust me you don't want to know." assured Kim.

"according to Christi, it not a good idea to trust Kim. The last time she did that, she lost her birthday present, and got her good jeans all torn up from pricker bushes." Informed Kyle.

"The dumb leading the dumber!" Shouted Kim.

"What the…" the mirror in the front of the room began to glow softly.

"do you think its one of those spy mirrors?" asked Corey getting closer for a better look.

"I don't know" said Jon backing away just in case some creature decided to jump out and devour Corey.

Uh… Corey… I don't think it's a good idea to touch that…" Kyle started to say. too late. Corey had already touched the glowing mirror and an immediate response followed it: a brilliant flash of light came from the mirror and all of the karate students were thrown back into the heavy bags at the back end of the room. 

Nobody noticed it but under Corey's gi, were five red cuffs, one on each wrist, ankle and on his neck . Nobody even noticed the red headband with strange marking in place of the mini pony-tail that he usually wore. The red cuffs drew Corey closer to the mirror which was now liquid like.(think the Capri Sun commercials) he reached out to touch the mirror, and was sucked in! the mirror went back to its original configuration, but now there was no Corey.

"Oh shoot" said Joey "how are we going to explain this to Mr. Ford and Eddie when they get back?" 

"Ow. I think I landed on a rock." Groaned Jon. He reached under his bottom and pulled out a device.

"Omigawd! Omigawd! Omigawd!" shouted Christi. "don't tell me that's what I think it is!"

"it is!" cried Jon " a Digivice!"

to be continued…


	2. continued...

Hey! I finally got around to typing this up. Artist friend Kim is mad at me because it's already written up and I'm changing it. It needs dialogues darn it! Grr… I'm mad at her too because she still hasn't set up the site! It probably would help if she had the notebook…^_^ he he he! N e way… I do _not_ own Digimon. I don't even own the original Digimon in this fic! Artist friend Kim drew them and she only let me have Cerulamon!L artist friend Kim drew all the Digimon and she has the cutest one ! Grr… I will steal artist friend Kim's Digimon! Now I'll need some string and some …

Kim's pov: we were all in for a boring day at karate, except that when we went into the back dojo this weird light shown out of the mirror. Corey went over to check it out, but then again, Corey never was very smart… he touched it and some force thingie blew us back. The 'genius' went back over to the mirror and walked into it and didn't even crash! After he left through the mirror-port, Jon found something under his massive rear-end. Christi thinks it's a Digivice, but it doesn't look like one I've ever seen… 

"Ummm… Jon?" Kyle asked "if that's a Digivice, then wouldn't there be a Digimon with it? Or at the very least a digiport?"

"good point!" Jon said. " Corey went through the mirror. That means that the mirror must be a digiport. Sooo… digiport open!" he shouted. 

Nothing happened.

"honestly Jon" sighed his sister Jessica. " what makes u so sure it's a Digivice?"

"uh… because… uh… Christi! You explain to them that this (holds up Digivice) is a Digivice!"

"Uhh… well… it _looks_ kinda like a Digivice…(pastes on fake smile)_Kim_… please help me out here…" 

"Jon, if Christi cant verify that then your wrong." stated Joey. "she's one of the smartest stupid people I know."

*Christi face faults*

"gee thanks a lot Joey. remind me to pound your face into the floor after class."

"no problem" he replied cheerfully. 

"well maybe if we all hold ours up together and say digiport open to the mirror, we'll go to the Digiworld…" Jon asked hopefully. 

"Only one problem Einstein." Kim said dryly. 

"what?"

"none of us have Digivices"

*Jon sweat-drops* "that could be a problem" he admitted.

"Uhh guys I think you should take a look at this!" Called Jessica. 

" oh. My. Gawd." Said Joey.

Floating in the lobby by the water cooler where 5 digivices. 

"wait…" said Christi. "Where have I seen this before?"

"I know!" said Jon and Kim at the same time. " Digimon season one, in the first episode, 'where at first it all began'!"

"ooooooooohhhh k. and now I think you two have been watching way too much anime." Kyle informed them.

" and what, may I ask is wrong with anime?" Kim asked, her voice dripping with evil sarcasm, the kind you get when you know someone wants to bash you over the head with a stainless steel mallet.

" uh nothing!" Kyle stammered. " I didn't say anything was wrong with anime! Who said anything was wrong with anime?! Eh he he he! Please don't hurt me…"

"if I were you I would just take one of those thingies and do whatever she tells you" Jessica advised.

"Good idea" agreed Joey.

So they all took a Digivice.

(as soon as artist friend Kim gets her scanner working you will be able to see what these digivices looked like.)

"ok. Are we all ready?" asked Kim.

"yeah!" shouted Jon.

"not so loud" Kyle complained. (him and Jon love to complain)

all: "DIGIPORT OPEN!

Sure enough the mirror went all liquid-like(Capri-sun commercial) and they were all sucked in.

Only they didn't exactly go to the digital world…

"What is this place?" Joey wanted to know

"It looks like data world from the ending of season one." Kim remarked.

( I really hate having to keep coming up with synonyms for said.)

sure enough it did look like data world. Complete with floating numbers. The only difference was that instead of floating in white oblivion they all floated in turquoise and navy and cerulean blue swirl oblivion.

It was here that they got their Digimon. Out of the blue swirling oblivion 6 digi-eggs appeared. A glowing gold light hit the digi-eggs and you can see the outlines of the baby forms. Slowly those forms change from baby to in-training to rookie. The glowing light leaves and now you can see the Digimon clearly. Kim got Melamon, Christi got Cerulamon, Kyle got Monarchmon, Joey got Felimon, Jon got Ringomon, and Jessica got Lightmon. 

(like I said as soon as artist friend Kim gets her scanner working you will be able to see what the Digimon and everything else looks like)

"wow… I can't believe it…" Jon breathed "I'm a Digidestined!"

but just as quickly as this paradise was created, it was destroyed. A giant ball of white hot fire came pummeling toward the kids and in an effort to save their newly met friends the Digimon sacrificed their lives by giving up their energy to transport them to another world.

To be continued…

I know I know… this Is really crummy but tell me what I need to work on and I'll fix it. Oh and this is not just a self insertion fic. I am currently working on the prologue where Digimon was just a game *artist friend Kim smacks author and says not to give away the ending* 


	3. continued...

Trip in the Spirit World

Kyle pov: last time we found Digivices. Jon thought they were rocks under his enormous butt, but they weren't. I'm surprised he didn't break it with his weight. Please don't tell him I said that. Anyway, we used them to go to this world that the anime freaks said looked like data world from season one of Digimon. We got Digimon there, but then this thing came and tried to kill us. Our Digimon saved us but in doing so they left before we could get to know them.

"Where are we?" asked one groggy Joey.

"I dunno…" replied an equally dazed Jon.

" you don't know anything!" said Jessica. " you guys have been out cold for the past 2 days I think."

"no, you're wrong", protested Kyle, " it was a week!"

" you must be thinking wrong" said Kim " we were here for an hour."

" two days!"

"one week!"

" one hour!"

" two days!"

"one week!"

"one hour!"

"two days!"

"one week!"

"one hour!"

" shut up!" yelled Christi. She pulled out a Pika-pal and said " we've been here for exactly 7 hours 37 minutes and 35.5 seconds!"

Jon sweat-drops. " well you can't say she isn't precise"

" well that answers how long we've been here, but I still want to know where we are!" Joey said exasperated. 

" ummmm, lets look at these beepers!" suggested Kyle. He had apparently forgotten about the Digimon.

" yeah, let's see what these thingies do!" Joey exclaimed. 

"what thingies?" Christi asked in a sly voice. 

"the what-a-ma-bobs?" Jon scratched his head.

"EWWWWW! Jon has lice!" Joey shouted.

"No I don't!"

"Then why are you scratching your head?" Joey then scratched his head.

"Ewww! Joey's got lice!" Kyle scratched his head and laughed. 

"Will you guys shut up?" Jessica stepped in. 

"None of you, except Jon, have lice!" Kim yelled.

"Excuse me?" Jon pulled his trade mark on her. (for those of you who don't know what his TM is, you are very lucky. He folds his arms and pushed you into the nearest wall.)

"Will you guys just stop it!" Christi quieted everyone up.

"And I still want to know were we are and why we're here!" Joey complained.

"For the last time, none of us know!" Kyle yelled.

Then they heard a harsh laugh. "I know why you're here!" the voice exclaimed. "And I know what you've got!"

"What do we have?" Jon asked.

"You are the ones to fight evil, also known as me!" the voice yelled. 

Then they heard a pop sound and they fell into a pit. There were machines all around. 

"What do want?" Joey cried. "What do you want with us?" Then he hid behind Jon.

All of a sudden, red bands came out and attached to their heads. 

" what are you gonna do to us!?" Kyle panicked. The voice did not respond.

A few seconds later, the red bands started to glowing red (what other color?). 3-d pictured of them flashed on screens that had just been revealed by the light. Data flashed next to the 3-d pictures faster that could be read.

" What's going on!" Jon screamed in horror. " I don't want anyone to see what's going on in my head! It's private information! All my secrets!"

" Jon, what's so secret about Final Fantasy!? Kim asked.

" for your information that's not all I think about!" Jon replied indignantly.

Joey and Christi smirked. (inside joke! Don't ask)

"Well then why do you want to know our thoughts?" Kyle asked as a picture of a pink bunny popped up. 

"Kyle! You like pink bunnies?" Jon started cracking up.

"Well Jon, at least he doesn't like purple bunnies!" Jessica yelled. Jon blushed. 

"Stop talking about me!" Jon whined.

"Back to the subject!" Christi stepped in. Inside Christi's thought popped up anime. And inside Kim's popped a light bulb.

"Kim's got an idea!" Jon yelled in shock. 

"Yeah, let's have the bone headed authors write that we get out of this!" Kim exclaimed.

"Not a bad idea," Jessica said, "Seeing that you and Christi are the authors. So write us out of this!" 

( authors: ok, bad evil person! You can go to heck!)

' hey!" the evil person shouts, " you can't do that!"

(authors: sure we can! We're the omnipotent authors! And we say that Kim and Kyle get spirit powers!)

" hey! Cool!" Kyle shouted, "I get spirit powers!"

" Yeah, being an omnipotent author has its perks!" Kim said, " hey, Christi, What does omnipotent mean?" 

" it means that you have unlimited powers" Christi informed her.

Kim and Kyle started to glow green. The red bands disappeared. Then everyone else started to glow green. 

" hey, omnipotent authors, who am I with!" Joey asked.

(omnipotent author #1(Christi): wouldn't you like to know…) 

"yeah! I would!", Joey yelled in response.

But Joey never got his answer. Shortly after everyone glowed green, they all teleported to a jungle clearing.

"wow!" Kyle gushed " I have cool teleporting spirit powers!"

"oh!" Joey complained " I never got to find out who I get spirit powers with!"

"I know!" Kim exclaimed, " you're getting spirit powers with Jon!"

"really!" Jon questioned, " how do you figure that?"

Kim smirked " because you walked in on him when he was getting changed."

"oh gawd Kim" Joey griped " don't remind me."

"ah – ha!" Jessica teased. "Joey was caught in the nude!"

"I was not!" Joey protested. " I had my clothes on!"

"yeah… sure…" Kyle started

"Just ask Christi! She was there! She'll tell you I was dressed!" Joey objected

" how should I know!" Christi asked, sounding horrified, " it's not like _I_ was looking!" 

Kim smirked.

"ok, you shut up you perverted little monkey. " Christi flushed the slightest shade of pink.

"maybe you weren't looking but you know you wanted to" Kim teased.

Joey looked at Kim and then at Christi. " I don't think I want know what that was supposed to mean." he stated with his goofy grin once again fixed on his face.

" there we go!" Kyle sounded relieved " we know that everything is ok when Joey gets the stupid look on his face!"

" but he always looks stupid!" Jessica pointed out 

"good point" Kim agreed 

"Hey!" Joey objected " I do not always look stupid!"

"says you…" Christi snickered.

"what was that?" Joey asked, " what did you say?"

"nothing! I said nothing!" Christi said quickly.

" I thought so"

"cough *womanizer* cough, cough"

Kim and Jessica sniggered. Joey turned three shades of red

"I am _not_ a womanizer!" Joey protested.

"Yeah… sure… whatever you say…" Christi drawled.

"I don't get it" Kyle said, clearly confused, "how is Joey a womanizer?"

"because at the Halloween party that you didn't go to, Joey tried to kiss me and he tried to shove Jessica into the bathroom and…"

"whoa.." Kyle exclaimed " that's a little too much information…"

" oh yeah! I remember that!" Jon recalled, " when we all had to show off our costumes… only I think since he was a vampire he was trying to make it look like he was biting your neck. As for trying to shove my sister into a bathroom, I'm gonna have to give him a large bruise for that…"

"Shut up Jon!" Kim protested " one Joey tried to kiss Christi and two you are not allowed to give Joey a large bruise.

"Yeah!" Jessica voiced " don't hurt Joey. Joey's cool, you can't hurt him"

" and I wasn't trying to shove her into the bathroom!" Joey asserted " I was preventing _her_ from locking _me _in the bathroom!" 

Christi grinned at her newest bit of chaos. It was fun to watch other people argue. It was _more_ fun, however to be arguing, although it wasn't as safe. One hour passed by as they were arguing, then two hours. Finally it was broken up by a loud noise.

"KREAH!" (bird noise)

"What the heck was that!?" asked a distressed Kyle. "It sounded like a bird." Informed Jon. 

" well I know that!" retorted Kyle, "but what I want to know is what kind of bird is it!"

"KREAH!"

"it sounds like a osprey." Christi stated.

"a what?" asked Kyle 

"an osprey." Christi repeated "It's a bird of prey, commonly called the fish hawk. They are about 2 feet long, dark brown and white in color, and…"

"KREAH!"

A large bird creature was swooping up over the trees.

"thanks for the bird lesson but now I think we should run!" yelled a very nervous Jessica, grabbing her wrist and dragging her away.

"but wait!" protested Christi "I didn't get to tell you the wing span!"

"tell us later!" cried Kim.

Joey tripped, fell, and let out a high pitched screech. Every one stopped running and covered their ears. The bird stopped in mid-swoop.

"ah! He yells _LOUD" _yelled Jon.

"I wonder if I could get up that high…" pondered Jessica

"ah! Do us all a favor and _don't try!_" Kyle dissuaded.

"but look!" Kyle pointed out " Joey stopped the birdie!" 

"osprey!" corrected Christi.

"whatever it is, Joey's screaming stopped it!" Jon cut in.

And just their luck, Joey's voice gave out.

"KREAH!" the bird creature once again swooped in on them.

"hey Jessica," Kyle asked nervously.

"Hey what" she said, clearly unnerved.

"ya know when I said for you not to try and match Joey's pitch…"

"yeah…" 

"Well I take it back! Try, try and try again that's what I always say! Now scream! Scream like you've never screamed before!"

"ooooook… I'll try…"

"don't just try!" Christi yelled " just do it!"

And so she closed her eyes and she screamed. And boy did she scream. 

"Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (gasp) eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(gasp) Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(gasp) (gasp)"

"I can't go on any more" she panted. 

"It's O.K." Kim reassured her. "the birdie left"

"birdies go moo" Joey said stupidly

"no birdies go meow! Doggies go moo!" Jessica corrected (?) him. 

"you ninnies" Christi laughed "it was an osprey, and ospreys go cock-a-doodle-doo!" 

ok… now that I've fully scared you all out of your wits, what did you think? I need to work a lot harder at my funny business but just tell me what I need to work on, and I'll correct it. R & R thanks! 


	4. continued...

Authors note: I do not own Digimon… I have said this many times before. I own nothing in this fic, except my character and my digimon! So I'm not gonna say it again! This is the last time! I do not own Digimon! I never have owned it, and I never will! So you do not sue me for anything, because you will get nothing! Nada! Zilch! Zip! (author keeps ranting and raving and by now is quite annoying. Artist friend Kim and Joey sneak up behind her and hit her over the head with a Bo-staff.)

Joey POV: last time me and Jessica got rid of a birdie… I got ridded of it first, only my voice didedededed'nt work right, kinda like my brain, and it didn't work, and so Jessica had to get rid of the birdie… OWCHIES! Christi just hit me on the head with a frying pan Cuz I hit her with a Bo-staff… I see birdies now… bye-bye birdies… he hee he

Christi POV: teach you to hit me with a Bo-staff! Now where's Kim… *evil glint in eye*

The karate kids are hiking through the forest. 

"OK, so Kim and Kyle have spirit powers now, right?" Jon asked yet again.

"yes Jon, me and Kim have spirit powers now." Kyle reassured him yet again.

"and I still want to know why they didn't use them when we needed them to." Jessica said yet again.

"Well we got us out of the grasp of that scary evil dude didn't we?" Kim took to defending herself yet again.

"actually, it was our omnipotent alter-egos that got us out of the grasp of the scary evil dude, not you and Kyle." Christi corrected her yet again.

"dude! I'm having deja-vu! I remember us saying all this stuff before!" Joey exclaimed.

"I'm having deja-vu and amnesia at the same time… I think I've forgotten this before!" Christi said unexpectedly. 

"Oh. My. She's scaring me mommy…" Joey tried to hide behind Kyle, but seeing as Kyle is four foot eleven, and Joey is five foot seven, it wasn't working too well.

Jon puts his hand to his forehead and starts to rub his temples. "you people need to grow up"

"like you should talk." Jessica shot at him.

"shut up."

"no, I don't have to. And you can't make me."

"I can if I really want to"

"no you cant"

"yes I can"

"no!"

"yes!" 

"no!"

"yes!" 

"no!"

"yes!" 

"no!"

"yes!" 

"no!"

"yes!" 

"no!"

"yes!" 

"QUIET!" Christi bellowed. "YOU PEOPLE ARE GIVING ME A CORPULENT HEADACHE! IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO ANYMORE ARGUING I'M GONNA SCREAM!"

"You're screaming already." Kyle offered in a small voice.

"I'M NOT SCREAMING! I'M BELLOWING!"

"Christi needs to take anger management classes" Kim said under her breath to Joey. He nodded his head in agreement.

"you're giving me a headache with all those big words." Joey complained. "use smaller words that my small brain can handle."

Christi turned on him, her eyes flashing dangerously "so… your brain cant handle big words, is that right." Her voice was now not much more than a low growl.

"uh… no…" he shrunk back and tried to hide behind Jon.

"TRY THIS : ANNULAR CORPULENT CAPACIOUS! LUDICROUS MALFORMED!"

"Sounds like sumthing from out of Hogwarts…" Kim said under her breath. 

"like Lucius Malfoy? Asked Jessica.

"Yeah! That's what it sounds like!" Kim exclaimed.

"sounds like what?" Jon wanted to know.

"Never mind." Kim said quickly, not wanting Jon to join in on her conversation.

"SHUT UP! " Christi shouted "CANT YOU PEOPLE SEE I'M YELLING AT JOEY!"

"Sorry." Kim, Jessica, Kyle, and Jon said in unison.

Christi then proceeded to finish yelling large and difficult words at Joey.

"owee… my head hurts…" Joey groaned, "doesn't anybody have any ice? Or at least a dictionary….please?" 

"uh! How _rude_!" Jessica exclaimed " you hurteded Joey's brain! You meenie weenie!" 

"yes I know, I'm a terrible rotten person, and every body hates me." Christi sighed. 

"I hate you" Jon informed her. 

"gee thanks a lot."

"No problem, hey if you ever want your butt kicked, just give me a call."

"I'll do that."

Kim sweat-dropped. "why would you want to call Jon?"

Christi stopped, took a deep breath, turned and faced Kim and said " Good point. Why would I want to call Jon anything? Except Tootie, that is."

Jon stopped dead in his tracks. "what did you call me?" he said in his most menacing voice.

"I didn't call you anything. I said if I ever wanted to call you, I'd call you Tootie. But I didn't call you did I?"

" well I uh…" Jon stuttered. "you're confusing me…" he whined

"Jon your always confused." Joey told him "right now you're more comfused than me, and that's bad"

"hey!" Kyle exclaimed "lookee over there! A castle!"

"wow." Was all Kim could say.

And wow was right. The castle was huge. It had some three hundred odd turrets and towers as well as three drawbridges, two moats, an abnormally large stable, and several thousand miles of forest surrounding it on three sides, four including the thousands of miles that they had just left. 

"That thing is huge!" Jon exclaimed.

" yeah, it's one of the few things that are actually bigger than you are." Jessica said dryly.

"why you little…" Jon said , doing his impression of Homer from the Simpsons.

"no, Jon, You are not Homer, you never had been, and you never will be." Kyle said, trying to act smart for once in his life. "so stop trying!"

"where in the heck are we?" Pondered Kim

"it appears to be a medieval castle." Informed Christi

" Well were do they usually keep medieval castles?" asked Jon

"in the medieval castle department." Kim piped up.

Jon sweat-dropped. "and where might that be?" he asked.

"where they usually keep the medieval castles."

" well where do they keep medieval castles?"

"in the medieval castle department."

"well, where ever they keep the medieval castles, I'm going in side this one." Jon said. It was clear that he was impatient to be off and going some where.

" Yeah! Lets go 'sploring" Kyle said.

"Kyle, you stay here" Jon barked.(no, he's not a dog. It's a figure of speech, although he does act like, never mind…X_X)

"but…but…but…but…" he whined.

"Yeah, butt, we all know Jon has a big one." Jessica stated.

"and you're looking?" Christi inquired.

"no!" Jessica protested " it just kinda hangs out there, and its kinda hard to miss, whether you're looking or not." 

"Roar!"

"ah, man" Jon whined "not another creature! I don't feel like listening to Joey screeching again. He sounds like a girl."

" Jon stop whining." Kim instructed.

"I don't have to listen to you, I'm the oldest, and there fore I'm in charge. You all have to listen to me."

"CIVIL REVOLT!" Christi shouted. "DOWN WITH THE EMPIRE!"

Kim laughed.

"Actually Jon, Christi is the oldest." She informed him.

"no she's not." He protested. "I'm fourteen."

"and so am I." Christi put in.

Jon looked at her critically. "no you're not. You're too short." He said finally.

"don't remind me" Christi sighed " I hate being short!"

"I'm older than you are." Jon protested

" no, I'm older than you. if only by two months, but hey it still counts."

"when were you born?"

"in march"

"DOH! I wasn't born till May. You stink!"

" are you implying that I need to shower?"

"no, well yeah that too… but that's not what I meant and you know it."

"what? Christi actually knows something?" Joey asked.

" wow. It's a mirable." Jessica said blandly.

(I hate descriptive words! They totally stink! !@$#@$@!$!@#%^&%^*$! Oops… eh he he! You did not just hear that!)

" Yes we did!" Kyle shouted up at the omnipotent author person who shall remain nameless for protections reasons.

(no you didn't!)

"Yes we did!" everybody shouted in unison.

(silence! We are the omnipotent author peoples! You are the puny characters in my story! Behold my wrath! Bwah ha ha ha hah!)

*lightning flashes and a tornado starts to brew.*

" do you really want us all to disappear?" Kim asked. 

(yes)

    "then why don't you just delete the story and start from scratch?" Queried Christi.

(what?! Start from scratch?! Have you any idea how long this stupid story has taken me!? I'm not about to start all over again!)

*lightning stops and tornado stops brewing*

"then stop complaining and start typing. You still have about fifteen more chapters to go!" Shouted Jessica. 

(*sigh* alright if I have to…)

    "actually…" began Jon
    "JON! SHUT UP!" Every one shouted in unison.
    "now where were we again?" Asked Kim
    " Oh yeah, we were just arguing about who was going to be the leader" Kyle said, eager to put his 2 cents in. (cents as in $$, not sense, because if you know Kyle you know he doesn't have any of the second kind!)
" Oh yeah!" she said suddenly remembering.     "well it should probably be the smartest people," Joey said, " so that we don't do sumthin stupid"
    "good point" agreed Christi "now who is the smartest one here?"

*there is a strange silence, crickets chirp, and a tumble-weed from the Wild West is magically 

transported to the forest clearing so that it can blow across the background. *

"oooooooooook…. That was odd…." Said Jessica. " now who is the smartest one here?" 

*there is a strange silence, crickets chirp, and a tumble-weed from the Wild West is magically 

transported to the forest clearing so that it can blow across the background. *

"well does that answer your question?" asked Kyle. 

"yeah." Said Jessica. " it means that everyone here is stupid."

*the forest clearing lights up and banners stream and confetti drops on every one.*

"Kewl!" said Joey "confettises! 

*the forest clearing lights up and banners stream and confetti drops on every one.*

"I take it that every time we're right that stupid confetti is going to drop on us?" Christi queried. 

*the forest clearing lights up and banners stream and confetti drops on every one.*

"stupid confetti…" grumbled Jon "it's messing up the whole story." 

* Lightning flashes and thunder growls ominously * 

    "ok! Ok! I'll shut up now!" Jon lamented.

*the forest clearing lights up and banners stream and confetti drops on every one.* 

    "woah…" Jessica said " I just realized sumthing…."
    "what" asked Joey 
    " this chapter is really really long. And it needs to end now."
    "okay omnipotent alter-egos! You heard her! End this chapter because it's really long and pointless!" yelled some voice in the background.

(okay, good. Because my fingers are really starting to hurt from all this typing) 

ok! This chapter of the fiction is stupid and pointless. Just like my life! Ummm… ok! Next chapter will be loaded next week because I'm evil and you all need to wait because I like to watch you suffer! No not really… but I need to make your element crest thingies! So don't yell at me! __   


	5. continued on school computer

Standard disclaimer… Roses are red. Violets are blue. I no own, so you no sue!

Authors note: sorry this took so long! So anyway, enjoy my really badly written story!

Christi's POV: Last chapter was really stupid and pointless. I really should scold my omnipotent alter ego, and tell her to go soak her head in a toilet but if I do, she'll have me be spirit partners with some scary person, and I don't want that…

All right, so far everyone of the deranged karate students is still in the forest clearing overlooking the castle. Again the loud roar sounded.

**__**

"ROAR"

"Hey wait…" Kyle started. "where have I heard that before?"

"In the last chapter, where one of the omnipotent authors put in that a loud roar made us stop arguing." Kim explained. "And I still have no clue what omnipotent means…"

"I said it means unlimited in power." Christi told her for the umpteenth time. (for those of you who do not know what umpteenth meant *cough* Kim *cough* umpteen means a large number.)

"O-h…" everybody said at the same time.

"So do you think maybe we should go check it out?" Jon asked.

"And get ourselves killed? I think not!" Jessica snapped

"I know! How about just Jon goes and if he come out in one piece, it's safe." Kim suggested

"And if I don't?"

"Then we'll all have a party!" Christi shouted

"Sounds good to me…" Jess agreed 

"Hey wait! I don't wanna go!"

"Too bad!" the rest of the group shouted in unison.

The group continues to push and shove Jon down to the castle to check it out. When they reach the

drawbridge, they stop, tell Jon to stay, and run away as fast as their legs can carry them.

"_(gulps) _Well… I guess this is it… farewell cruel world-"

"Jon! Will you get on with it already!" Kim called 

"No! I have to have a dramatic dying speech before my demi-eyes"

"It's demise you idiot! Now hurry up and get it over with!"

Jon slowly crept to the drawbridge and…

**__**

"ROAR"

high-tailed it out of there as fast as he could. He jumped into a ditch and landed on his head in pile of dragon manure.

*flies buzz around Jon and the manure pile*

"I feel dirty…"

"Jon, you are dirty!" his sister exclaimed

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Well, if you weren't, you are now. That stuff stinks!"

" I need a bath…"

"You need to stop being a coward" 

"I am not a coward!"

"Yes you are! If you hadn't run away like a little sissy, then you would not be in that poop pile, now would you?"

"Well… I … uh… just shut up and get me out of here!"

"I'm not gonna do it"

"Not me"

"Not me"

All of the kids looked at Joey and got an evil glint in their eyes

"Hey what are you looking at me f- hey… no… I don't wanna get all-

They chuck him down into the ditch, but his belt gets caught on a tree branch.

"Dirty…" he trailed off lamely.

"Darn! Now somebody has to go unstuck Joey. " Kim said exasperated. 

"Yeah! Somebody has to unstuck me! The smell is making me dizzy."

"At least you're not sitting in it. Just think how bad the smell is for me." Jon whined.

**__**

"Roar!"

the view shoots upward to see a very large bronze colored dragon (not a Digimon- they're not in the digital world yet.)

"OH MY GOSH GOLLY NO! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!" Kyle squealed 

"It's a dragon you imbecile!"

The entire group, except for Jon, who is stuck in the manure pile, and Joey, who is hanging on a branch.

" Head for the hills!" Christi shouted

"There are no hills!" Kim yelled back

" Then run for you life!" Christi replied

"I have no life!" Kim retorted

"Well run anyway! I don't want you to be a Kim-ka-bob!"

So the dilapidated group ran into the forest and ran into a cave that magically appeared for the 

Purpose of this episode. Everybody helps to role a large rock into the opening of the cave. 

Just in time too. The bronze dragon flamed where the rock had not been just a split second before.

"What are we going to do about Joey?" Jess asked

"It's every man for himself!" Kyle answered 

"There are no men around here!" Christi pointed out

"What about Kim?" Kyle asked.

"Kyle! I am going to kill you" Kim fumed

"Not if that big lizard does first!" 

__

meanwhile…

The omnipotent author person has run out of space on her floppy disk! She will continue this story in the next chapter! However, the omnipotent author person does not know the next time she will be able to go to the computer lab to finish loading the next few chapters. When she does, you will finally be able to find out what happens meanwhile. 

****

To be continued!


End file.
